Just relaized how long it was since I posted here.
hmmmmm perhaps thst a new years resolution I forgot about.
Things are alright I guess.
I sent this letter to Andrea on new years day:
Happy New Year!!
we seem to be loosing touch with each other.
I know you work hard!
perhaps I'm whining a bit!
I see the WWC MSN version is not doing much
there have been no classes for WWC
the thing that bugs me most is stagnation and I wonder just how far this stagnation goes.
I'm going to ask a painful question.... pain ful to ask, pain ful to read and perhaps painful to answer. Andrea I'm asking from my heart do you wish us to continue?
this is not a break up
this is not a foreshadowing of a break up ( hopefully)
I just wanna know whats on your heart
I want to enter this year with a clear understanding!
I want an answer from whats really in your heart, what do you really want?
Lets be real, lets be practical here!
Brian
HUgs
kisses
after reading her response combined with my own thoughts I sent a second letter on January 2nd:
Andrea
I have thought about this for a while now!
I want you to read the whole of this letter before thinking about it!
Yes Andrea I do love you, Am I in love with you???? This is the question I don't know the answer to. I really need to search my heart on this.
Whats the point of me being a Coven Elder when I have no contact with the Coven. I kind of feel like a 5th wheel here.
What I'm asking for from you is the time of a season or 2 ( no more the 2) for me to sort out my own heart on this.
This will give you and your family time to recover money wise etc. and give you the freeness to work etc etc etc....without feeling guilty.
AS for White Wolf Coven... I will be taking the same 2 seasonal leave from such. If when I return you still wish me to be an elder we can talk about that then.
Andrea I do love you. Try to understand that my heart at this time is heavy and unsure of things. I need to rediscover my own heart. This is something I must do.
I know this hurts but I feel that if I carried this on without speaking up at some point in time I will end up hurting you far more.
I'm sorry for hurting you. truely I am!!
But I could never live with myself if I hurt you worst.
I still love you which is why this hurts so much.
As I sit here with a slow tear coming from my eyes and a speechless knot in my throat.
I hope you can accept and understand that I'm not wishing to leave you just take a break from it.
As I sit here listening to a song by Foreigner called " I wanna know what love is" I call to the Goddess and ask her to show me what love is.
Brian
please forgive me
I have not heard from Andrea since!
I'm gonna take the time to think things over etc....
There are many hidden aspects to this that I don't think would be fair to talk about publically.
HUGS to all my friends | 
